The One-Finned Fish

By Brandon Kelly

There was once a fish with one fin, called You, who swam in a sea, called Life. The Sea of Life was very deep. You became more and more curious about how deep. You knew that it must take a lot of effort to swim deeper because, for You, going even a few feet was tiresome. Having only one fin limited how fast and deep You could go. 

You was not alone, though. He had to think about his friends, family, and how You could survive deep in the sea all alone. In the school of fish, You's life was very comfortable. As a child, You's parents watched out for predators or fishing humans. They let nothing happen to You. Parents always warned their children about the fishing boat, called Difficulty. "When Difficulty comes sailing in, you had better come close, or they will scoop you up and eat you," they would say. 

But You always dreamed of going deeper in the Sea of Life. You didn't know how to do it, or if it was possible to do at all. One day, You was swimming with Loved Ones, and they all saw something amazing. It was a three-finned fish close to the surface of the sea.

This three-finned fish was very famous and was called They. Well, after seeing They, You became very emboldened and excited to start an adventure, but turning to look at the Loved Ones, they looked afraid. The Loved Ones said that they should all return to the surface and back to the school of fish immediately. No one wants to be separated from the group because then Difficulty may snatch them out of the water. As it was, they were already far away from safety. You was torn and didn't know what to do. 

Meanwhile, They swam by lazily, too big to be worried about Difficulty, and They's many fins helped glide through the Sea of Life with ease. That big fish didn't really seem to care about anything. They hardly noticed You at all. Regardless, You couldn't stop watching They. Inspiration, bravery, and determination each built up inside of You till bursting point, and each time You thought of the Loved Ones, those feelings deflated. You felt hopeless; the Loved Ones always talked You into going back to the school.

You did swim back to the school, but this time was different than all the other times. You thought about why the Loved Ones may not want to use effort to swim deeper in the Sea of Life. Why wouldn't the Loved Ones want to go into unknown spaces, learn new things, experience exciting details about Life? The Sea of Life is so big, perhaps even They doesn't know every inch of it. Perhaps one day, You could teach They a thing or two. 

You thought that the Loved Ones were concerned for You's safety. This was the obvious answer, the one that You thought of every time. You had a different thought that day: the Loved Ones did not want You to leave. They loved You, wanted to keep You around, and to lose You would make them very sad indeed.  You thought of You's feelings on the issue: if You stayed, then You would be the one who was sad. It seemed as though the game had no winner.

Another thought occurred to You: what if other one-finned fish had the same idea as You, but were staying with Loved Ones because they needed them? Or maybe they were themselves afraid to leave the school and if You showed bravery and courage to leave the school alone, You's actions made them feel inadequate about themselves. If You left, then You would show them strength, true passion, and bravery. When they looked inwardly, they found that they were too afraid to try going deeper in the Sea of Life themselves. It was too much effort. The one-finned fish only had one fin, after all. In a way, these two things that made the school and Loved Ones want You to stay by their side was only serving themselves in the end.

They were Self-Fish. 

A shadow moved above You. It was Difficulty, and You's Loved Ones were shouting. "Swim, You! Come with us!" Though it pained You immensely, You decided to be happy. 

You swam deeper and deeper, tumbled about by the currents They was making in passing. You flicked that little tail as fast as possible in order to get deeper. You lost balance, twirled upside down, got whacked by They's big tail fin, but You kept up the effort to achieve a deeper position in the Sea of Life. Finally, You found a position under They where the current wasn't so strong. You observed the surroundings for a while and was very keen to notice even small details. You learned how to be a fish that dove deeper. You learned by doing, by observing, and by self correcting through humility. Before You knew it, another fin started to grow on top. You became happy after all.

You realized that in Life, You really is a small thing. 

Segregation, Deflection, and Accountability: Fear

Sitting outside, wandering among nature, wondering about nature, I have time to reflect on the question that is commonplace among humans: who am I? Some might say they are a chef or they are a follower of a deity and move on with their life never again thinking about it. No one is really ever one thing.

There are a few logical fallacies that exist when a person thinks in the above way: segregation, deflection, and a lack of accountability. The question of “Who Am I” is deeper than that. To understand why, let’s think about the fallacies as they are.

Segregation refers to the human tendency to separate things from other things. In my opinion, this comes from the desire to understand the environment in which we live and to have a sense of belonging to and contributing to that environment. Coming along with segregation is the idea of labeling things. These ideas of segregation and labeling seek to separate and estrange things that come from the same stuff. It is not wrong to seek understanding of the environment. It is wrong to be divisive and exclusive in society. It is not wrong to say we are Group A, and we like each other because we have the same beliefs. It is wrong to say that we are Group A, and our group is better than yours.

Deflection, in my use of the term, is when a person who has become close-minded to a fault. Whatever new concept presents itself is immediately deflected away from their core belief system. This comes from the fear that the belief a person has been following for all their life was wrong and that the person is themselves wrong as a result. It is a blow to the ego that drives us so strongly in this world and a blow that is insufferable to people with this mindset. Perhaps it is also fueled by the resulting belief that people have wasted their life believing misinformation. What they typically don’t realize is that they arrived at the final answer after having dedicated the time to the wrong belief. The time was not wasted because they found a better answer, the time was well-served because they took a bite of the cake as opposed to eating the whole cake in one sitting. To understand a concept, it’s easiest to approach the subject piece by piece, as we have done with science the last several hundred years. Deflection occurs when a person does not want to consider new information that may change the way they have been doing things traditionally. They are satisfied by the belief they hold and have held, and that in itself would be a great thing, but only if their traditional belief system doesn’t segregate others to the point of extremism, to the point where others are hurt and will continue to be hurt by the beliefs. For the betterment of human society, it is necessary to move beyond ways that separate others in harmful ways.

Finally, there is the lack of accountability. It would seem that there are people who believe it is not their duty to look inside themselves, but the duties of others. Therefore, they put off looking at themselves and searching for their imperfections, or they delay spiritual growth altogether and not consider it. Why would people do this? I believe it is because they’re afraid of what they might find when they look into the mirror. They’re afraid that they will be wrong, of what others would think, that they have a lot of thinking and changing to do, or they are afraid of fear. That is, they’re afraid of the unknown. The biggest adversary in the world is oneself. The inner self then becomes an indefatigable presence inside of a person that, over time, becomes too large and mysterious to face. What these people should realize is that it is fear that holds them back. There’s nothing to be afraid of, certainly, but tradition blocks even this idea. If a Muslim, for example, believes it is against religious instruction to eat the flesh of a pig, they’ll not do so, and sometimes without questioning why it’s not proper. After believing this for fifty years, they may suddenly be confronted with a Muslim who eats pork, and that Muslim challenges the beliefs they’ve carried all those years. They’re afraid of how Allah would judge them in the afterlife because they are ingrained to fear upsetting their god. The truth would be that Allah (or God, or Yahweh, or whatever) doesn’t care if you eat a pig. Once you get past that limitation humans set upon themselves, you open a door for new considerations and ways of thinking which will eventually lead you back to the idea that we are all one, that we all have our own will, and that there is no need to separate and do violence to one another when we believe differently.

So what is the one answer that will defeat all of these fallibilities of the human race? Release fear. It serves no purpose but to segregate and oppress.